Release in me

Today is another cold and rainy day. It is gray. It makes me feel quiet, and I find it hard to come up with anything to say. I want to be by my fireplace with a roaring fire and a good book.

It was like this yesterday too, my son and I listened to an audio book for hours. And, we had a fire. It was nice.

I've been thinking about the Holy Spirit a lot. I've asked myself questions about his power in our Body. Why is there evidence of him in some places, and not so much in others? What do I have to do to have more of Him?

I recognize that there is a continual work within me that breaks down my outer man, flesh desires. My Spirit is longing for more of Jesus, for a release of his Spirit within me. As I continue to pray for an alignment with him, I pray for less of me.

Still, I sometimes feel old feelings of rejection, fear, jealousy, pain pop through. And, I hear him whisper his love and remind me that his Spirit is within, I have all things through him. I have every spiritual blessing available to my spirit. Every.Single. One.
The book I'm reading right now is about releasing the Spirit. It's all about being broken before God. That fleshy side of myself coming before him and admitting that I desperately need him. I need him now. I need him everyday, only him.
To walk with God; it gets messy. And, so beautiful. I've noticed that in that state of prayer, he brings me to recognition that I am unable to do life without him.
It brings me to a place of quiet and a place of humbleness before him. I am nothing,  but with him I am his everything! His love for me is so great, intense, amazing, and full, that I am filled with his greatness. It makes me cherish the days by the fire. It gives me hope for sun tomorrow. It gets me through the rough spots when I start to feel something other than blessed.
And, sometimes I feel that way.
Oh God!  Release in me, all of You!
I want to Say That Again, and again.