The last few days have been an adventure for me, full of laughter and tears. I went away with a friend to her cabin, nestled by a river, far from the harried life of town, schedules, and life in general. It was beautiful. The sound of the river, the surrounding mountains, the green with wildflowers. We talked, we ate, we napped.
The first morning I was there I read this from one of my books:
Our emotional health is dependent upon our emotional honesty .We can't be right with God and not be real. If necessary, God may have to make us real in order to make us right with Him.
God and I have been on a journey of being real for a long time now. He has given me many adventures that provide opportunities for me to feel real emotions, and then decide whether or not I want to be honest about those emotions. This weekend, He let me practice that a lot. As I spent time with Him, He reminded me of times in my life that were things I would prefer to bury and not be honest about, but as I explored them I could see that not only did I feel more real inside, but my view of reality was changing even more to God's view.
We hiked a trail, it was a short hike. But, as I looked out over the canyon and saw the river and the mountains on the other side, I realized that it was all like a drawing of my life. The river with it's swift current the rocky mountain peaks, the valleys, the flowers, and prickly cactus. Sometimes, in my life, I have been carried away by the swift current, drowning, with thoughts of despair. But, somehow, the current spits me up on the shore and I feel like I am left to dry out in the desert sand. Other times in life I have been on mountain peaks soaring like an eagle, but then I can do a nose dive and go down to the valley, into the shadows. Yet, in the shadows, there can be beautiful flowers, and moments where God is finding it necessary to make me right with Him.
There was a four wheeler there. I drove it. At first I was slow, but then I discovered the higher gears, and learned that possibly I could venture off the trail---just a little bit. My friend was brave to ride with me, because I'm not experienced. So, as I was racing up the rocky trail, I didn't quite make the corner, or something, and I hit a rock that was rather large. And, then I hit a weed, or maybe it was a bush.....Whatever the case, the four wheeler did not approve of my driving at this point, and decided to tip over. But, both my friend and I being quick witted and limber managed to dive out of the way so we were not under the massive machine. My quick wit, landed me in a lovely garden of cactus, consequently giving me a prickly butt. My friend, also had some prickly friends, and felt some bruises. The initial response from both of us was for each other, then we wondered about the four wheeler. It was, by the way, just fine. Then, I noticed, that I was having trouble with my emotions. I felt like a little kid that might be in trouble. I wasn't so sure that I would experience grace, even though there hadn't been any damage that we could tell.
Our boat ride came and we relayed the four wheeler accident. I could feel the tension inside of me building as I waited for the condemnation. But, it didn't happen. In fact, instead of condemnation, I was offered the boat to drive as well. That's odd! My brain did a retake on that, and God clapped His hands! What does God have to do to make me right with Him? What does He have to do to make you right with Him? Yesterday, I recognized that this journey I am walking, is God making me right with Him by bringing people into my life that show me grace and love, even when I make mistakes or am not able to return to them the same abundance. People that continue to Say That Again to me, "It's okay, just one day at a time, in faith."
God found it necessary to make everything more real through a river, a cactus, a four wheeler, a boat, a cabin, and most of all through the love and grace of friends. Say That Again!
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The first morning I was there I read this from one of my books:
Our emotional health is dependent upon our emotional honesty .We can't be right with God and not be real. If necessary, God may have to make us real in order to make us right with Him.
God and I have been on a journey of being real for a long time now. He has given me many adventures that provide opportunities for me to feel real emotions, and then decide whether or not I want to be honest about those emotions. This weekend, He let me practice that a lot. As I spent time with Him, He reminded me of times in my life that were things I would prefer to bury and not be honest about, but as I explored them I could see that not only did I feel more real inside, but my view of reality was changing even more to God's view.
We hiked a trail, it was a short hike. But, as I looked out over the canyon and saw the river and the mountains on the other side, I realized that it was all like a drawing of my life. The river with it's swift current the rocky mountain peaks, the valleys, the flowers, and prickly cactus. Sometimes, in my life, I have been carried away by the swift current, drowning, with thoughts of despair. But, somehow, the current spits me up on the shore and I feel like I am left to dry out in the desert sand. Other times in life I have been on mountain peaks soaring like an eagle, but then I can do a nose dive and go down to the valley, into the shadows. Yet, in the shadows, there can be beautiful flowers, and moments where God is finding it necessary to make me right with Him.
There was a four wheeler there. I drove it. At first I was slow, but then I discovered the higher gears, and learned that possibly I could venture off the trail---just a little bit. My friend was brave to ride with me, because I'm not experienced. So, as I was racing up the rocky trail, I didn't quite make the corner, or something, and I hit a rock that was rather large. And, then I hit a weed, or maybe it was a bush.....Whatever the case, the four wheeler did not approve of my driving at this point, and decided to tip over. But, both my friend and I being quick witted and limber managed to dive out of the way so we were not under the massive machine. My quick wit, landed me in a lovely garden of cactus, consequently giving me a prickly butt. My friend, also had some prickly friends, and felt some bruises. The initial response from both of us was for each other, then we wondered about the four wheeler. It was, by the way, just fine. Then, I noticed, that I was having trouble with my emotions. I felt like a little kid that might be in trouble. I wasn't so sure that I would experience grace, even though there hadn't been any damage that we could tell.
Our boat ride came and we relayed the four wheeler accident. I could feel the tension inside of me building as I waited for the condemnation. But, it didn't happen. In fact, instead of condemnation, I was offered the boat to drive as well. That's odd! My brain did a retake on that, and God clapped His hands! What does God have to do to make me right with Him? What does He have to do to make you right with Him? Yesterday, I recognized that this journey I am walking, is God making me right with Him by bringing people into my life that show me grace and love, even when I make mistakes or am not able to return to them the same abundance. People that continue to Say That Again to me, "It's okay, just one day at a time, in faith."
God found it necessary to make everything more real through a river, a cactus, a four wheeler, a boat, a cabin, and most of all through the love and grace of friends. Say That Again!
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