The Big Kids

My husband and I were blessed with two baby sitters last night.  Two friends that came over and played with our children and put them to bed,  well to bed in their fort in the living room,  and waited for us to come home! It was very nice.
We went to visit our big kids! Our two older sons and their wives.  It's a  rarity that we get to just be with our older children without our younger children. And, even more rare to be able to go to their home, because we usually accommodate our young children!
The evening revealed some new and interesting  things, maybe some added pieces to the complexity of life. For me it developed more closeness and intimacy, and more desire to be with my children and involved in their lives. To know them.  It was fun, engaging, competitive, and relaxing.
This morning I read in Lamentations chapter 3:
"When life is hard to take go off by yourself.
Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions:  wait  for hope to appear.
Don't run from trouble. Take it full face. The worst is never the worst.
Why? Because the Master won't ever walk out and fail to return.
If He works severely, He works tenderly, His stockpiles of loyal love are immense.
He takes no pleasure in making life hard, in throwing roadblocks in the way."

Life has a lot of challenges for my husband and I right now. But God brings me to places like this in Lamentations and reminds me that there is hope. He gives me evenings like last night, and tenderly shows me that this is not the worst, I have relationships with many people. I have love. Yes, there is trouble, and He reminds me, "Do not run from trouble"  Just as I would never run out on my own children, He will not walk out on me or fail to return to me. Just as the love I have for my children is beyond words, the love He has for me is immense and stockpiled high. And, the roadblocks that are there, He knows how to remove them.
Jesus, Say That Again to me as I face this day. You are the God of all hope, and You are tender with me.

The Eyes of a Child

Last weekend There was an Iron Man event in our town. Every year when this happens it gets a little crazy with traffic and a lot of people. The route of Iron Man happens to be the same route we have to travel to get home, so if we are in town that weekend we get to experience a lot of bikers and runners.
My children are often fascinated by all of it, and this year, while watching some of the runners they both asked me this questions: "Mom, are you going to be in Iron Man next year?"  Pretty sweet question, but no! I think I'll stick with tag, and walks up the hill. But, what I realized is that to my children, they see a mom that can do anything. To them, asking that question was so matter of fact. To me, it was completely out of the realm of all possibilities! They have such child-like faith in life, and in me. Life is simple and good, so why wouldn't I run in Iron Man?
This morning I read Isaiah 35, and it's all about the future Zion. The wilderness will sing joyously, like crocus in the spring. Fear souls will have courage, blind eyes will be open. There will be a Holy road, and no lions or dangerous animals will be on it. Nothing threatening. We will be welcomed home with gifts of joy and gladness as all sorrows and sighs scurry into the night!
That sounds pretty nice to me, and God says it all the time, simply and in such a matter of fact way. He knows it, and He desires me to look towards this future. This earth is not my home. I am His child, and with faith I strive to look heavenward.
Jesus, Say That Again, soon You will welcome me home, along with all Your children, into the gates of Zion, and we will rejoice together!

The Game of Tag

I played a game of tag today with these two guys. As you might guess by the looks on their faces, I didn't have a chance from the get go. Competition runs high in our family, and they don't know what the word slow means. We had a good time, and considering that I started the game feeling tired, I ended feeling really really tired!
This I know, however fast they are going, God will keep up with them. He loves them and He knows their every move. He tags them everyday and stays on their team. Because of this promise, I can rest.
Say That Again, Jesus, You have my children, You've got them tagged!

The House Banquet

God blessed us with a beautiful day, beautiful people, and many memories. The House Banquet for our community brought a wide variety of conversation, entertainment, and love. I was blessed, encouraged, and strengthened.
Near the end of the evening, a young women asked me if she could pray for me. I did not know this women, but felt deeply moved that she wanted to pray for me and pray for our ministry. She, along with two other women sat with me on the couch and she began a powerful prayer. She prayed for courage and boldness. She confessed to God that she believed the last two years had been difficult and long for both my husband and me, and that we had given much. She proclaimed that He had promised us a ministry of hope and He would follow through with prosperity and blessings. She asked that He bless us financially, and that He build a fire wall around me, yes, a FIRE WALL. Her prayer was deeply personal, loving, and meaningful to me, as if she knew me. The Spirit of God was clearly within her, deeply rooted, speaking to her, prompting her words. And, I knew God was in our circle, and I was hopeful.
It has been hard, many things have been hard. God has never promised easy. But, then He gives blessings like The House Banquet and it's fun and inspirational, and I see lives touched for His Kingdom.
Jesus, This Ministry that You have blessed my husband and I with is Your ministry, and I want to hold it with open hands. I want it to always be used for Your Kingdom to be a blessing for You.
Say That Again Jesus, use this ministry as a blessing for Your Kingdom.

The Preparation

Today we are having The House Banquet at our ministry. As a Team we have been talking and planning for this a long time. Now, the day is here. The members on my team have put a lot of time and energy into this day, and I am hopeful that everything turns out well.
I have been in my office, praying. I have been praying that God will keep the rain clouds away, and that He will bring the exact people to this banquet that He wants here. I don't know what to expect. We have music. We have children that will entertain with their juggling skills. We have a great MC. We have wonderful food. But above all of that, I desire for the people that come to know that we, Agape Celebration, love Jesus.
We have been preparing a Banquet. This has been a lot of work. Jesus is preparing a Banquet for me right now, and someday I will sit down at the table with Him and we will eat together. It will be far more magnificent than what I have going on here tonight. I've been thinking a lot about His Banquet though, and I wonder what it feels like for Him. What does Jesus think about? So many people turn away the gifts He has to offer, He has a free banquet going on.
Jesus, Say That Again. Keep Telling me what You have for me, and keep me in Your arms of mercy today. I need to rest there.

The Motorcycle

My son drove my motorcycle for the first time by himself.  He was very excited. My husband stood by, feeling rather impressed. For me, I saw a future of biting my nails, concerned over my son's safety as he heads into the horizon on a motorcycle.  I know, it's my motorcycle. I use to ride it all the time, but lately, my husband has used it more. It's a little small for him and he gets teased about the smallness of it. He's even had an accident on it---and lived to talk about it!  Before I know it, my daughter will driving down our street on my motorcycle, and I'll have to spend the entire day wearing knee pads, because I won't be able to get up from praying.
God, help me remember that You are the One in control. You love me and You love my children. You have asked me to pray without ceasing for a reason. You have promised to take my burdens and make them light, to protect, fulfill, love, and never forsake.
Say That Again, it is Your promise!

The War

There's a war at my house today. It's between several visiting children, and my own children. They are having a play date. My husband came home for lunch today, and he brought some children with him to play with our children. When I arrived home, they were in full battle. Our entire house was a war zone. I'm sitting in the middle of their war zone now, I could die at any moment. Foam darts are flying everywhere, my daughter is yelling "I'm STILL dead!" There is moaning, groaning, and gnashing of teeth.

It reminds me of a verse in Matthew chapter 12, it reads like this:
"This is war, and there is no neutral ground, if you're not on my side, you're my enemy; if you're not helping, you're making things worse."

This is very true in the game of war with my children. They do not have neutral ground. If you're not helping, you're making things worse. I know what this feels like in life. For me, my life. I am not on neutral ground, I am standing on God's ground. The enemy of my soul wants to destroy me, he does not want to help, he wants to make things worse, it is WAR.  But, Thanks to Jesus, the war is already won, and I have been given victory. The enemy of my soul, has darts of foam, lies, tricks, and traps.
Say That Again, today Jesus. You stand on holy ground, and You have won the war. I get to stand with You because I belong to You. When the war is raging inside of me, You will fight for me!

The Strawberry Shortcake

My kids have had a lot of Strawberry Shortcake this summer. They like to skip the entree and eat the shortcake for the main course, with plenty of whip cream.  They have fun .
This morning as I was reading in Psalms  19, I read this verse:
"God's Word is better than a diamond, better than a diamond set between emeralds.
You'll like it better than strawberries in spring, better than red ripe strawberries.
There's more. God's Word warns us of things and directs us to hidden treasure."
God's Word directs me to Jesus! His Word puts me in tune with His Spirit and warns me of traps and lies. It prepares me with an Armor, and gives me a place to rest.
Jesus, Your Word is the Main Course that sustains me.  You feed me and give me breath.  Say That Again, Jesus Your Word is flesh in the midst of all your people, and it is Treasure.

The Cake Fight

Life can get messy, but God has blessed His children with relationships to walk through the mess. We can laugh together, hold onto each other, share each other's mess. It's like a Cake Fight, the sweetness of each other, but still some cleaning up to do.
Jesus, You have blessed me with many people to walk with. You have stretched my Trust muscles and asked me to join the messy cake fight. There is sweetness, and there is a lot of cleaning up. Say That Again, Jesus, You will walk beside me and be the Sweetness, and You will teach me to trust Your way.

The Dad Day

Don't you see that children are GOD'S best gift? the fruit of the womb his generous legacy? Like a warrior's fistful of arrows are the children of a vigorous youth. Oh how blessed are you parents, with your quivers full of children! Your enemies don't stand a chance against you; you'll sweep them right off your doorstep.  Psalms 127: 3-5

Say That Again, Lord Jesus, You have blessed us with a generous legacy, a fistful of arrows, our enemies do not stand a chance!!

The Brain Lapse

While talking on the phone yesterday I remembered a story in the bible about King Nebuchadnezzar and the dream he had of being sent to live with the wild animals. When Daniel was telling him what was going to happen his advice to him was this, "So, king, take my advice: Make a clean break with your sins and start living for others. Quit your wicked life and look after the needs of the down and out. Then you will continue to have a good life."
The king did not take Daniel's advice, so twelve months later his kingdom was taken from him. He was driven out of his kingdom to eat grass like an ox, and he did this long enough to learn that the High God rules ALL. It was seven years!!
At the end of seven years the king was back in his kingdom, this is what he prayed to God:
"His Sovereign rule lasts and lasts, his kingdom never declines and falls,
Life on this earth doesn't add up to much, but God's heavenly army keeps everything going.
No one can interrupt his work, no one can call his rule into question."
He went on to say,
"Everything he does is right, and he does it the right way.
He knows how to turn a proud person into a humble man or woman."

Yeah, I think if I had to eat with the ox for seven years that would be very humbling.  Nebuchadnezzar felt like he had lost his brain for seven years. Then, after that time, God gave it back to him. I'm thinking when he received it back there was a joyful realization that having his brain was a great gift! That was a long lapse of time to be without it.
This morning, as I read this story about the king, and talked to God, I wondered about the brain lapses in my life and what God is trying to tell me. He led me to Psalms 22, a chapter he has often taken me to. In Psalms 22 it starts out by asking God why He has forsaken me?
"God, God...my God! Why did you dump me miles from nowhere?
Doubled up with pain, I call to God all the day long.  No answer. Nothing
I keep at it all night, tossing and turning."
A little further down this stands out:
"Everyone pokes fun at me: they make faces at me, they shake their heads:
'lets see how God handles this one; since God likes him so much let him help him!'"

And then,
"You, God--don't put off my rescue! Hurry and help me!" and the very last sentence in the chapter, "God does what he says."

I picture king Neb feeling just like this while out there eating with ox, having his brain lapse. And, there are days, I feel the same way. God has made promises to me that I am very sure of, yet when I look at my life circumstances those promises do not look possible. So, I begin to doubt and question and feel like I'm having a brain lapse.  I need to be rescued from the current situation, and be placed back in my kingdom!  But, that is not His will for me right now, His will is to further His Kingdom, which has always been my prayer.
So, Jesus, Say That Again to me, when I am in the middle of a brain lapse, hold me.  Keep me secure in Your Kingdom and use me to further Your love and Your Purpose.

The Mischief

The first week of summer, our adventure of five days, has made me stronger and given me new and wiser strategic mothering methods. I will implement more chores on a daily basis when I discover that four rolls of toilet paper have been skillfully placed all about my bedroom while I'm in the shower! Of course, the chores are only there to help pay for more toilet paper, a very basic need, which I might add was also skillfully strewn about the family room.
I've casually mentioned the value of making beds, now that my husband and I have discovered that our bed has been short-sheeted twice this week. There seems to be a lot of mischief in the house, running all about, doing this and that, playing jokes on me!
This morning I was thinking of Stinky Dog and all her mischief. She stole food off the counter, pizza, cookies, whatever she could find, all the time. She, of course had an issue loosing bodily fluid from both ends, and she was rather stinky, at times. She had a pretty big mischief going on when she would run like a crazy dog out into the street and bite someone, all for the sake of protecting her family, in her mind. She crowded my husband off the bed, and paced back and forth in the family room when someone took "her" chair. But, to me, she was perfect. I didn't care about any of that stuff, I loved her anyway, mischief and all.
Just like my kids and their summer adventures. Toilet paper, sheets, dirty hands, ill-manners, I love the hearts they have. I love that they tromp back and forth with their Lego from our house to the neighbor. I love that they play in the woods, ride their bikes, eat ice cream with me, climb trees, cuddle up for movies, love popcorn, wear mismatched clothes, and live freely. If they are happy, they smile. If they are angry they yell. If they are sad, they cry! I learn a lot from my children.
Today we have a chore to do and my daughter said "Oh poop" she doesn't want to help.  She would rather play, or get into more toilet paper. I would rather read. But, life can't always be about the mischief or the fun things we want to do.
Thank you Jesus for another day, Hold me today and get me through this day. Say That Again, You love my heart, even with all my mischief!

The Weeds

We have a lovely rock patio in our back yard with a swing that sits on one end. In between all the rocks, grows sweet smelling thyme, and in between the thyme, weeds. The rock patio is my favorite spot in our yard. I had a chance to spend some time in our back yard yesterday, and pull the weeds out of the thyme. I also sat in the swing, and rocked, it was very nice. Fur Ball and Naughty Dog were with me. Fur Ball sat and watched as I pulled weeds, but Naughty dog realized right away that his collar was not on and he could easily escape the yard without consequence.  I called Naughty dog as he darted down the hill into the neighbors yard and her newly planted flowers, but Naughty dog feigned deafness.  Lucky for me the neighbor, who I will say does not like Naughty dog, was on the other side of her house with her ear buds in, she did not see him or hear me. Naughty dog pranced about her yard sniffing her new flowers and claiming each one as his own. I decided to feign ignorance and went back to my weeds.
As I was pulling away, thinking of Naughty dog and all his misdeeds, each one of them being like a pesty weed. I turned on myself and then on God! "Life is full of weeds, and it feels like I am pulling at them all the time!"
That would be sin, we live in a world that is full of it. But, God's grace is fuller! He has to keep reminding me of this everyday, as I dart down the hill, God whispers in my ear. "My grace and my love are here with you today."
I do not know what today will hold, but I do know He holds me. And, so even with the weeds, on I go, He will continue to pull them, and I will continue to give them.  Jesus, Say That Again to me, You hold onto me and Your love is continuous as You work in my life!

The Summer Adventure

This has been the first week of summer vacation, my children are out of school and there is no homework! We have a tent in our back yard on the hill full of teddy bears and pillows, sleeping bags and foam mats. The neighbors visit on a regular basis. The Lego is firmly embedded in the carpet, and there are no matching socks for my daughter. The realization that I have to make lunch everyday has slammed into my brain like a big question mark as I peer into our mostly empty refrigerator!! What will I make today?? I made a list of chores for my children yesterday. Life doesn't need to be all about play, right? So, as I placed the chores before them, "wash dishes, clean room, pick up toys" my son started in right away. My daughter, on the other hand began to wail. She stomped up to her room and began to clean, crying the entire time about how impossible it was for her to clean her room. "I can't do this, this is too hard for me, why do I have to do this." In the mean time, my son did all his chores and finished the remainder of hers.
As she was wailing away, I was reminded of how I feel so often.  I have felt just like she does this week. I'll probably feel that way today! My husband and I are having to make so many changes and adjustments in our life that I often cry out to God just like my daughter "I can't do this, this is too hard for me, why do I have to do this?"
Then, He reminds me that I am the one that asked to be used His way for His Kingdom. Both my husband and I have diligently prayed and given Him all that we have, for Him to use however He sees fit. We are in a position right now where we have to sell our Ministry house, this is painful. Yet, God has promised to keep us in His hands and to fully use us for His Kingdom. He has promised to expand our territory, the territory of my heart, and hearts of my family and friends. He is God and He keeps His promises. I don't know what it will look like, but it will be good.
Just like with my daughter, once she finished her room, it was good. She made it through. She was happy again, her room was clean, and the rest of her chores had been gracefully done for her, by her brother.
Jesus, I need a lot of grace today for so many areas of my life. I need Your strength and courage. I'm not sure where You are taking me, but I am sure it will be an adventure. Say That Again, Jesus,  we are on a summer adventure!

The Surprise Party

In celebration of our anniversary our children and our friends surprised us with a party.  They gifted us with a trip to the place we honeymooned 30 years ago and made us a beautiful cake. They brought dinner, and barbecued steak. It was the most delightful, fun evening!
God has given both my husband and I many years together, and through out those years He has filled our lives with amazing people. Sons, that love us, and have grown into strong Godly men.  God continually brings me back to this place of seeing the relationships in my life, who they are, the constant, loyal lovers of my heart. The family and the friends that express in such tender ways how much they love me, and love my husband. The thing that I find so incredible about God is that He knows my deepest needs, the ones at the heart level, and He meets them. He inspires parties, He brings passion, He plays, He adds adventure and mystery and joy. The Surprise Party did all of this for me, and I needed that.
Say That Again, Holy Jesus, You are a God of adventure, passion, mystery, and joy. The path we travel together fills my deepest needs.

The Coffee Service

My husband and I went out for an anniversary lunch; it was delightful. The company was especially good! The restaurant overlooked the lake, and a scenic hill. The food was good, but being a lover of coffee, I had to take a picture of the little coffee tray that came with my cup of coffee! It was my favorite part and it made me want to go there again just for dessert and coffee!  My tray was generously graced with cream, chocolate, sugar, cinnamon, and biscotti.
I've thought about the coffee service tray a lot since my lunch date. The impact of the thought put into that service made an impression on me. I've talked about it, shared the picture with others, noticed that it has left a positive feeling inside of me. When I talk to God about it, He reminds me that this is what He is doing for me everyday. He is offering me His beauty, glory, and opportunities to serve Him in positive ways. The ability to focus on Him and not on my circumstances will further His Kingdom and reflect His glory.
Jesus, You grace my life with opportunities. Enable me to use those times to serve Your Kingdom and reflect Your Image. Say That Again, Jesus, even through the problems I face, You enable me to focus on You and see Your beauty.

The Happy Anniversary

Thirty years ago, I walked down the aisle to meet this man.  It was the best decision of my life. Five kids later, numerous adventures, ups and downs, deaths, weddings, and grandchildren.  This is the man by my side, the one God chose for me. He is a Godly man, with faults like everybody else, but so adored by his family. I am thanking God today for giving me 30 years with this man, for blessing me, keeping me, loving me, showering me with an abundance of family.
Say That Again to me Jesus on the days when I forget, You continually show me gifts of love.

The Grip

My Bible fell open to Psalms 37 this morning, and the first verse I saw was on the Message side of my Bible. This is what I read, "If he stumbles he's not down for long, God has a grip on his hand." Then a couple verses down, I read this: " "not once have I seen an abandoned believer."
I thought of the many times that I have FELT alone or I have FELT like God hasn't heard me. But, the truth is, He has a grip on my hand, and never has He abandoned me, not once. I am a believer, and He stays by my side, all the time. He is deeply rooted within my heart, and it is there that He will stay. Today, as God and I move together my focus is meditation on His Word and all that He has promised. He is God and He has a grip on my hand--Captured. He does all that He says He will do; therefore I will live abandoned in His presence.
Say That Again, Holy Jesus, Your Grip is on me, You never abandon those that believe in You.

The RV Park

Fur Ball, my children, and I have been taking the daily trek to the RV park. Fur Ball and I walk, my children ride their bikes. The bike ride starts out down hill, but then before long it is a steep incline the majority of the way. My children have amazing energy. When we get to the RV park, it's basically a parking lot with camping trailers in it. My kids race around, skidding their tires, and I let Fur Ball off his leash and he bounces about like Tigger. He runs through the long grass, joyfully playing. We continue our walk, on a path that takes us to an overlook of the lake where we normally go fishing. We mull around for awhile and always discuss how fun it would be to have a zip line to ride from our high point to the other side of the lake. Fur Ball searches for smelly things to roll in, and then my children decide it's time to go back, because for them the fun is just beginning. They get to ride their bikes down the hill.
For me, it's another practice of letting go and praying. I go through the same speech with them each time  telling them to stay on the side of the road, not to go to fast, where I will meet them, etc....I feel a little anxious inside and start to pray for God to build a hedge around them as they whip around the corners at full speed. I breathe. I work at knowing how much God loves my children and believe that His hand is upon them, and I tell myself that they can ride down a hill without me hovering over them!  By the time I've told myself and God all this stuff, my children are already home, with their bikes parked beside the house.
God continues to challenge me, asking me to completely let go. He has given me the beautiful gift of family, and the responsibility of children. As they grow, they go, and I know they want to fly away. He is the One that keeps them safe and watches over them. He is the One that gives me the wisdom I need to raise them, and trust them, and certainly enjoy them.
He has done this with me, He has watched me run free, up hills and down. He has allowed me to explore, and choose, ask questions, discover, be in His Presence and learn, without judgment.  like Fur Ball in the RV park, and my children riding down the hill--Jesus, Say That Again, You are freedom, You are Joy. And, You bring me and Your children to places of exploration and discovery.

The Incredible Boy

My grandson came to see me this evening and I held him for a long time. He is incredible.  I knew the moment my son told me that he and his wife were going to have a baby that I would love this child, but I didn't know how much my heart would truly be captured.  He stirs all kinds of emotions within me, deep within my belly, and my heart. When I hold him, I want to smile and cry at the same time, there is peace and there is churning. I see my son, his father, and it brings back a deep and tender fondness.  I see his mother in him too, and I'm curious about what she was like as a child.
My grandson is incredible, he really is. I am completely in love with him. God has blessed us with another beautiful child in our family and I think it is amazing. His parents are doing a beautiful job, he is so loved.
When I feel all this for him, I am taken by the thought that God's love for me is so much deeper, wider, and bigger than the love I have for my grandson or my children.  God's love for me is beyond my measure  or beyond anything I could ever imagine. It is incredible, indeed!
Say That Again, Lord God, Your love for me, is beyond what I can imagine or measure, it is incredible!

The Messy situation

So, Fur Ball went with me today to run some errands. He likes going in the Land Rover, and sometimes I think his name should have been "Rover". He sits in the back seat, and sometimes in the front seat, never in the very, very back. If he feels like looking out the window then he sits in the front seat, if he wants to spread out and take a nap, then he goes to the back seat.
Today, he was in the back seat. We had several stops to make, one of them was by the lake so he could have a nice walk. It was a new place for him today and he was unsure about the people that were there. A couple times, he simply stopped and sat down, refusing to walk past them. "Fur Ball, come!" I would plead. But, he preferred that the travelers on the trail walked by us first, then he got up and continued on his way.
Our last stop was to the grocery store, and just as I parked the Rover and turned to say a word or two to Fur Ball he opened his mouth and lost his entire breakfast all over the back seat. EWWWW!! YUCK!  "Fur Ball, that is so gross!" I whined. And, my thoughts fondly went back to Stinky Dog and her misfortune in the back seat of my Land Rover.  "Fur Ball, did I tell you the story of Stinky Dog and what she did in the back seat of the Land Rover?" Fur Ball just sat there, and it seemed to me he was trying to decide whether or not to recycle his deposit.
I managed to clean up my seat, thanks to a baggie that was left by my children on the floor! And handy wipes that my husband kindly put in the front compartment for me. I was grateful that this time my children were in school and not here to witness the messy situation.
I left Fur Ball in the car and as I roamed through the grocery store I talked to God. It seems that there have been so many messy situations, and so much to clean up. I kept hearing Him say again and again that He is who he says He is, and battles are long, but they make warriors strong.  I have to let Him continue to clean up the messy situations, just like Fur Ball let me clean up his messy situation. I have to sit back, and rest in Him. It's not easy to give up control.
As I drove home I checked in with a friend and she could hear the waver in my voice. She reminded me that if I could see the battle that is all around me I would be praising my God for the rescue from the messy situations every day! And, I know that she is right. The truth is, God has promised that the battle is won, He is light, I am complete in Him, and though it appears to be a messy situation at times, victory reigns!
Say That Again, Jesus my King, You are the Victor!