The Wanderer

There are times, I feel as if I am wandering around in the desert. That is not necessarily a bad thing, I happen to like the desert. It's dry, it's hot, it doesn't snow in the desert.  I am always warm in the desert! But, on the other hand, I am wandering, with a feeling of getting nowhere! This is how I felt yesterday. I spent a lot of time asking God these questions:" Where the heck am I going? Why are you asking me to go the direction I am going? And, how long are we going to head this way?"  He didn't give me an answer, really. Except that He continued to say that He wants me to be open to His love, to work on breaking down the wall around my heart, and to allow Him to reveal truth to my soul. To me, that pretty much is going to take a lifetime. I guess I may as well settle in. He wants me to surrender, stop being so darn stubborn, quit complaining. All those things I do when I find it challenging to let go and let God!
In my devotional this morning I read about the endless love of Jesus. I read how there is nothing, absolutely nothing that I can do to get Him to STOP loving me, and how I am called to have that same kind of love for others. Really? The exact same kind? I'm back to love again, and as I wander in the desert and think about love and ask God to enable me to love others in that way, I wonder if I can? I feel loved like that by my husband, and I want to feel loved like that by others, but when it comes right down to it, do I? But, here's the bigger question, do others feel loved like that by me?  Am I able to allow Jesus in my heart enough to love others that much? Or, am I just so busy wandering around, that love is on the back burner, wander, wander, wander....
Oh Jesus, Your Spirit is all Power, all joy, all I need.  You are love and you have me Captured IN your hands; it is safe there. I need you. Say That Again, Jesus, when I wander all about, capture me with your staff and bring me into your hands.