The Reputation

So, back in March a question hung in the air, and this was the question: "who wants to do a women's breakfast in our community?"
"I do" I said without hesitation. And, I did. I wanted to serve the women in my community in whatever capacity God would enable me to serve. I was ready, and I was willing. I was given the okay and told to put together a team, so I put together a team. The team consisted of two people.
Our community brought in one other person to give us a hand, and we had two weeks to pull off a community breakfast. God impressed upon me to speak, and I asked if I could speak for the breakfast: "Can I bring my story to the women at the breakfast?" I asked.
I was given a definite okay. I began to pray.
The breakfast was a huge success with over 100 ladies attending. God was glorified, His Spirit soared through the room, and it was evident that He was there. I felt truly blessed to be a part of His plan, blessed that He was speaking through me, blessed to be used by Him.
We planned another breakfast, the news spread and the excitement soared. We had a skit. Friends came to be in the skit and it was fun. We laughed, we enjoyed each other, we planned, we loved. It was another great breakfast with over 100 attending. The Spirit weaved in and out of the room, touching the hearts of every women. The excitement of His love was evident, His heart was glorified again, His tenderness was evident. My heart was full and thankful.
God was whispering to me that I should step back at this point, but I wasn't sure I really wanted to, I was enjoying this. Having a good time, but stepping back was the right thing to do. Yet, I still had ideas. I was concerned about the direction of this breakfast....
Then I voiced my opinion, "I do not support an overly preachy atmosphere at a community breakfast!" I was making waves. My opinions were perceived as conflict and causing trouble. I began to ask questions, dig deeper, make more waves. It was not well received. As I prayed, God impressed upon me to just be still, so I was still.
Our team, which was larger now, was called into the church office and the "issue" was discussed. It was an issue that had grown. I didn't realize how big.
Time passed, the breakfast continued, attendance declined. I have stepped down, and the lady that started out with me, she has stepped down as well. The breakfast is still nice, but it is different. Something has changed.
I heard today that during all that fiasco even more people were hearing opinions about the breakfast than I realized. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. The reality that my reputation is tarnished, the truth is scarred, the facts are skewed.
My reputation is not mine to have. I am not my own defender. I am not my own fighter. I can voice an opinion and know that my God will set it right in His time. My God will protect me, love me, defend and be my reputation. It is all about Him not me. I feel hurt sometimes, and weary, but not crushed or ruined.
Say That Again, Jesus, You are my reputation, my Strength, my Everything. It is All YOU.