I went to church Sunday morning. Normally, we go on Friday evening to a smaller branch. But, this last weekend I met a friend and ventured into the giant church. It had been about 5 weeks. Upon arriving, I already knew that God would need to work overtime to keep my anxiety in check. Even though I love many of the people in this church and have been coming to this church for a long time, I have experienced enough here now to cause me to feel unsafe. I walked in, and sure enough, the levels rose.
I stopped to say Hi to many friendly familiar faces, friends and people that I love very much. I weaved in and out of hundreds of people, looking for my friend, always stopping to talk to another friend. Being honest with most about my level of anxiety, moving forward in the crowd so as to avoid to much pressure.
I asked myself, "does anybody else have a problem in this foyer? or are they all wearing masks--still?" It's just a question I left hanging in the air. I prayed for the Spirit to soar through the building,for a hedge of protection to surround me and the church, and life to be within each one of us, for Jesus to clothe us all.
I thought about Jesus and wondered if He would be here, at this church, or if He would be outside walking in the field with His friends, or in a smaller church eating and drinking. I wondered if He would be condemned by my church because He seemed like an outlaw, or a rebel? What would He be like if He were here right now? He probably would come into the foyer, and He would be the One to ask the challenging questions, the One to uncover the masks, the One to look inside each soul. Some of us would ask Him to leave, others would cling to Him and bow at His feet, never wanting to let go. I would feel safe, and just thinking about it all made me feel safer.
In the church foyer, it occurred to me that I will always live in a battle. And, even though God has already told me this, it just really hit home in the foyer. There will be rest in heaven, not here. If I am dedicated to doing the will and service of Jesus, then I will be in the middle of a battle for Him all the time. So, I must be prepared. Some battles I may be able to walk away from, but others I cannot. The enemy does roar, he attacks, my God protects.
Jesus, Say That Again to me today. You clothe me with Your Armor. You love me, you strengthen me. You are a mighty God. You will fight for me today,and every day.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
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