The kids and I went to the park today. We rode the Spider, the Tilt-A-Whirl, The Roller Coaster, and The Slide. It was fun. It was a glimpse of summer. It was nostalgic as well, because we have spent many hours in this park for many years. It reminds me of my older boys when they were young, both my younger children and their delight. It reminds me of lazy days with my husband, and walks with friends. It makes me want to stop time, for just a little while and capture the moment forever....But, time goes on and there is the realization that I have lived more years than I have years left to live. Hmm, what do I do with that? I'm at that place where I want everything to go well, and grieve when it doesn't. There's little time left if things go great, what if they don't? I'm wanting love, relationship, hope, courage and joy to be a steady companion. I'm at that place where I don't want any game playing, just say it, do it, and be there in a real place.
The Park, who knew it would be so thought provoking? Was it the run down the hill? Or the stroll up the hill? Was it seeing the playground, hearing the birds, or feeling the chill in the air? Maybe it was the smiles on my children's faces, their carefree life dancing before me. I don't know, but it was something and it worked.
The last time I was in this park was in the Fall, walking with a friend. It was beautiful, the leaves on the trees were orange, crimson, green and tan. The air was brisk then too. The rides were closed and people in the town were hunkering down for winter. The smell of coffee was in the air, hot and steaming.
The Park. I remember years ago, before we had children my husband and I strolled this park. We played like two little kids, running, tickling, and laughing. We felt then that the whole world was timeless. We were young, and living in denial! Isn't there a saying something like this? "Ignorance is bliss!!"
I wouldn't want to go back, life is better now. But, there are some days that I ask God, "which way is forward?" Am I being productive in His Kingdom? He has set me free to play in His Park, to dance, sing, be alive IN Him, am I doing that to my very best abilities? Am I living IN Him to the very fullest? I want to say "yes" but then there are those brief fragments of time that I question the Park He has set me in. When I cannot resolve, restore, renew, and revive. I let myself feel frustrated, and I stop dancing. I pretend like the Park is closed.
Jesus, lift me up like an eagle. Strengthen me, guide me, as I dance with YOU. Use me in this Park to play, laugh, speak, and further Your Kingdom. Give me a positive impact on the others in this Park with me, and bring my heart to surrender, complete and total surrender to You. Say That Again to me today, tomorrow, and all week.
The Park, who knew it would be so thought provoking? Was it the run down the hill? Or the stroll up the hill? Was it seeing the playground, hearing the birds, or feeling the chill in the air? Maybe it was the smiles on my children's faces, their carefree life dancing before me. I don't know, but it was something and it worked.
The last time I was in this park was in the Fall, walking with a friend. It was beautiful, the leaves on the trees were orange, crimson, green and tan. The air was brisk then too. The rides were closed and people in the town were hunkering down for winter. The smell of coffee was in the air, hot and steaming.
The Park. I remember years ago, before we had children my husband and I strolled this park. We played like two little kids, running, tickling, and laughing. We felt then that the whole world was timeless. We were young, and living in denial! Isn't there a saying something like this? "Ignorance is bliss!!"
I wouldn't want to go back, life is better now. But, there are some days that I ask God, "which way is forward?" Am I being productive in His Kingdom? He has set me free to play in His Park, to dance, sing, be alive IN Him, am I doing that to my very best abilities? Am I living IN Him to the very fullest? I want to say "yes" but then there are those brief fragments of time that I question the Park He has set me in. When I cannot resolve, restore, renew, and revive. I let myself feel frustrated, and I stop dancing. I pretend like the Park is closed.
Jesus, lift me up like an eagle. Strengthen me, guide me, as I dance with YOU. Use me in this Park to play, laugh, speak, and further Your Kingdom. Give me a positive impact on the others in this Park with me, and bring my heart to surrender, complete and total surrender to You. Say That Again to me today, tomorrow, and all week.
Hi Bethany,
ReplyDeleteNew visitor and now following you from WW. I have a feeling that I am going to enjoy your blog very much. I so enjoy blogs that are driven by faith; there is so much to be learned and your blog has spoken to me; your "About Me" in your profile had me sold. Bet'cha didn't know a few simple words could hold so much power, huh? :)
I'm looking forward to reading along and getting to know you better! Have a wonderful weekend.
Aloha,
Angie
It can be hard sometimes to keep moving forward in His Kingdom. I ask God every day to help me in advancing and I truly believe that is why I write my blog. I really feel like God wants me to rise up and use my disability for the advancement of His Kingdom, but more importantly to grow myself.
ReplyDelete