We did an exercise in the training that I'm at today about our false beliefs. The lies I tell myself in order to survive or the lies I have been told. One of mine was that if I trust someone with who I am, they will leave. I really found this to be a challenging belief because, my experience has told me that it is true. If I allow someone to really see inside of me, and I try to process what I'm allowing that person to see, they will eventually leave me. I have found that I believe this about everyone, except my husband and children. And, because of my experiences in life, it feels true.
At one point in the exercise, the facilitator prayed for me to let Jesus come and tell me what He thought and to speak truth to me. A picture came to mind of Jesus walking towards me, as I am standing all alone. He came up behind me, my rear guard, and put His hand on my shoulder. He gently spoke words of encouragement to me, like "I am your authority and I want you to continue on the path of light. I will not ever leave you" And, "use discernment, I am your authority, trust me."
After the prayer, I did feel better. On a scale from 1-10, I started with the belief being a 10, when he finished, it was more like a 5.
It is a belief that has been with me for a long time, and I have found that when I am vulnerable, some people have stepped away. But, God has not ever stepped away, and He knows that plan in store for me. His love is abundant and sure. He can bring safe and healthy people in my life and give me the discernment I need to trust them.
It's a scary step to risk again. But, it's part of being real and transparent. Believing truth is freedom, and I like freedom. Jesus is freedom and protection for my heart. Say That Again, Jesus, You will be my rear guard and You will give me discernment for the times You want me to risk again.
At one point in the exercise, the facilitator prayed for me to let Jesus come and tell me what He thought and to speak truth to me. A picture came to mind of Jesus walking towards me, as I am standing all alone. He came up behind me, my rear guard, and put His hand on my shoulder. He gently spoke words of encouragement to me, like "I am your authority and I want you to continue on the path of light. I will not ever leave you" And, "use discernment, I am your authority, trust me."
After the prayer, I did feel better. On a scale from 1-10, I started with the belief being a 10, when he finished, it was more like a 5.
It is a belief that has been with me for a long time, and I have found that when I am vulnerable, some people have stepped away. But, God has not ever stepped away, and He knows that plan in store for me. His love is abundant and sure. He can bring safe and healthy people in my life and give me the discernment I need to trust them.
It's a scary step to risk again. But, it's part of being real and transparent. Believing truth is freedom, and I like freedom. Jesus is freedom and protection for my heart. Say That Again, Jesus, You will be my rear guard and You will give me discernment for the times You want me to risk again.
Good job, this is hard work, and you are covering ground fast! xo jaynee
ReplyDeleteLife can be hard work! I'm so blessed to have Jesus
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